The Rain
by BatmanSwiss
Summary: After Mulder leaves Scully's apartment, both agents must work through their feelings.
1. Default Chapter

Author: JediK1

Author: JediK1

Date: 6/23/01

Spoilers: Existence

Rating: PG, because I use 'damn' once…um…ok, twice. ;-)

Archive: This will be on my web page with my other writings and such. Anyone else…I'd love it! Just let me know where!

Author's Note: Thanks to X- Girl X- File for beta-ing this for me! Also, this whole story is from Scully's POV. 

Disclaimer: I don't own them, but that doesn't mean I can't play with them, right?

The Rain

By JediK1

Dana Katherine Scully, the FBI's own 'Ice Queen', the woman who cut open corpses without blinking, did not know what to do. 

Since laying William down for a nap after Mulder's departure a half-hour ago and seating herself on the soft, comfortable sofa, Scully had not moved one inch. Her mind had shut itself off, attempting to sort through the jumbled thoughts and emotions. Each one contrasted the next, fighting for domination over the others in a mass battle that Scully's conscious mind could not handle. Now, after a quarter of an hour, no progress had been made; no winner had been chosen.

Scully blinked once, twice. She forced her mind to take over, battling the screaming voices until they became a quiet murmur in the background. Now she could think, and decide where to go from here.

Mulder's visit had been a surprise, and the kiss… the kiss was certainly unexpected. Even after eight long years of working on the X-Files, Scully still disliked that which she could not predict.

But what shocked her even more was when she began to return the kiss.

When had she fallen in love with him? She had only realized the truth about her feelings toward him when he had leaned forward, holding her son –their son- in his strong arms. The shield that she so faithfully held before her, masking her emotions, blocking the truth about her feelings from the world and herself, had exploded in the electric wave that passed through his lips into hers. Her carefully constructed walls had come crashing down, and Mulder had understood enough to know that he could not help her rebuild them just yet. Scully would have to pick up the first piece on her own, and decide whether or not there was a place for her partner in her new life.

But even as Scully sat there in the dark, listening to the steady rhythm of the new rain outside, she knew that she could never live without Mulder.

Again, the question rose in her mind. When did she fall in love with him? She thought of every long flight or drive, every night spent in cheap motels, every tedious report filled with adjusted versions of Mulder's crackpot theories. Still, she could not pinpoint the moment she fell in love with 'Spooky' Mulder; the FBI's most unwanted, but most brilliant mind. 

She could, however, remember every damn sunflower seed. She could perfectly recall the number of times she had to remove 'Frohike's' movies from the VCR in their office, or every stray lock of hair that she had brushed aside while waiting for him to wake up in a hospital. 

Funny, how those small moments mean so much, even if you don't realize it at the time.

Dana Scully almost laughed, but opted for a small smile instead. These past few months had changed her life. Every belief she had ever held had been shattered; the broken pieces scattered like the stars that had claimed Mulder nine months ago. 

Maybe something inside had realized that she loved him when he disappeared. There had certainly been more driving her search for him than pure friendship. He was her best friend, true, but even then, had he been more?

With a sigh, Dana stood, stretching her cramped muscles as she did. Her thoughts continued to chase each other around in circles, and there was no end to their mischief in site. 

As Scully stood in her darkened living room, she listened as the rain gently tapped on her window. A sudden impulse struck her, and for once, Scully decided to listen to it. She grabbed the baby monitor and headed outside, not even bothering to take her jacket.

In moments she was out the door, and the warm summer rain was cascading down from the heavens in cleansing waves. The droplets fell upon her, soaking her body so thoroughly that it penetrated her skin and muscles, slipped silently past bone, until it was cleansing her heart.

In those brief seconds, Scully felt a burden washed from her slim shoulders. The emotions that had run rampant since Mulder had left quieted and settled into place.

Scully raised her head to the dispersing clouds, listening as the sound of the diminishing rain sang in time to the beat of her overflowing heart. 

Tomorrow the sun would rise, clear and strong, above a new and cleansed Earth. And as the last of the rain died away, leaving her in silence, Scully knew that she would not greet it alone.


	2. Mulder's Freedom

Cool breeze and autumn leaves __

Cool breeze and autumn leaves

Slow motion daylight.

A lone pair of watchful eyes

Oversee the living

Feel the presence all around

A tortured soul

A wound unhealing

No regrets or promises

The past is gone

But you can still be free

If time will set you free.

Savage Garden- If Time Will Set You Free

Fox Mulder sat alone, staring out the single window in his apartment. The computer screen in front of him gave off an ethereal glow, the only source of light in the growing darkness. He had been there for over an hour, simply staring, since he had arrived from Scully's apartment. He had recognized the look on her face after their shared kiss, and had retreated to give her the space he knew she needed. Now, he was locked in his apartment, gazing at the busy street beneath him. 

As he watched the people scuttle about below, rushing to their homes before the impending rain broke, he became lost in thought. Each of those people had a place to go, whether to a bar, a friend's, or just simply home to a loving family. Mulder considered for a moment what it felt like to have a family. It had been so long, and the memories lay buried beneath a thick layer of dust. He carefully looked at each one, brushing the age from their surfaces, letting them overtake him and wash out the scene below.

The most prominent was the vision of Sam's abduction. He fought back more tears as the memory of that fateful night played through his mind. He could feel the fear overtake him once more, and hear Sam's frightened scream. He searched for his father's gun, but the weapon was useless. The fear had claimed him, held him paralyzed as he watched Sam float out the window, trapped in that eerie light…

Mulder shook himself, trying to leave the memory behind. It would not completely fade, however, and left him with trances of the guilt that had plagued him for so many years. His sister was safe now, taken from the mortal realm and placed in one of eternal peace, lost to the starlight. But no matter how many times he told himself that, Mulder knew he would always feel responsible for Sam's disappearance. Even the passage of time had not aided in easing the pain and guilt he felt. 

His mind drifted back to the memories, to the time that had changed his life. Mulder's parents began fighting, blaming their son and each other for the disappearance of their daughter. The family he had known was dead; their happiness traded for government secrets and conspiracies. He had no one, now, except for Scully and her miracle.

Once more, Mulder's gaze found itself trained on the people below. They were fewer in number, now, as the rain began to fall in a light sheet upon the earth.

He simply sat there, thinking over the last two decades of his life. Mulder had dedicated himself to a quest, a search for his own, personal grail. He had met many along the way, and most of them had either left him or died. There was only one person in his life that he had learned to rely upon, one person that he could count on seeing every morning, just as he had for the past eight years. 

Dana Scully had stayed by his side. She had not laughed on that dreary night in Oregon, while on their first case, when he had told her of his quest. Nor had she turned away, like so many others had. Instead of mocking the idea of Sam's abduction, Scully had remained silent, letting him tell his tale. Now, eight years later, she still listened to his outlandish theories, and she respected him in a way that no one ever had before. 

In a way, Scully reminded him of Sam. His sister had never been interested in the paranormal, like he had. Just like Scully, who to this day, despite all they had been through in the X-Files, still tried to find logical explanations. For the first time in what seemed like days, a smile crept onto his lips. 

The people outside his window had vanished, and the light rain he had observed earlier had become more relentless in its descent. It pounded the earth, washing away the dust, carrying debris and dirt in its clutches as it disappeared into the gutters that lined the drenched street. There was something calming in the rain, Mulder realized. It washed away the impurities, leaving behind something cleaner, newer, in its wake. 

He closed his eyes, letting the sound of the rain on his window wash over his tired soul. Somewhere during the eight years of their partnership, Mulder had fallen in love with Scully. Though he could not place the moment he had first realized it, he knew that he had loved her for years now. But every time he thought of making his feelings known, something had happened, and he pushed himself away. Mulder had always feared losing Scully like he had lost Samantha, and he desperately tried to protect his partner from that fate. Once, he thought he had lost her, when Duane Barry had taken her. She had come back, though, and Mulder had sworn to prevent it from ever happening again.

That's why he and Skinner had entered the woods the night of his own abduction. He had been intent upon distracting the aliens away from Scully, and his plan had worked, to some extent at least.

Mulder shuddered at the memories of the tests, and his hands traced his cheeks. Even though the scars had healed, the memory of the experiments conducted on him would remain forever.

Scully had never given up on him, just like he had never given up on her or his sister. She had thrown aside her science long enough to bring him back from the brink, an act Mulder knew must have been hard for her. For this and more, he admired her above all others, and his love for her had been strengthened over the past month since his return. 

Now, after the birth of their child, Mulder realized that he could no longer hide his feelings from Scully. His previous notions had been shattered, and Mulder knew that if something did happen to either one of them, the greatest pain would lie in never having said those three words. So finally, Mulder had summoned the courage to reveal the truth. He had indeed meant to tell her earlier, when he arrived at her apartment, but William had distracted him. The boy was the most beautiful sight his eyes had ever taken in, and his mind had played with thoughts of fatherhood. As he held the tiny miracle in his arms, with the mother, the woman he loved, barely a few feet in front of him, the words had pored out. And then, he had leaned forward, and his world had exploded into a million brilliant pieces. 

And then she had kissed him back…

Another smile graced his lips, and Mulder's attention turned to a solitary figure below his window. Someone had decided to brave the rain, and recognition slowly dawned on him as he caught sight of red hair. It was Scully, with a bundled up William in her arms.

He raced to his door, then out into the hallway toward the elevator. As he watched the numbers ascend, Mulder wondered what she was doing out in this rain, especially with William. As the moments passed, he became worried. What if 'they' were after her, or William? What if they were in danger?

The elevator reached the fourth floor, and Mulder nearly jumped when the doors opened before him. Inside was a dripping wet Scully, gently rocking a surprisingly dry baby in her arms.

"Scully, what's wrong?"

She looked up at him, her clear eyes drawing him in, inviting him to become lost in their depths. Confused, Mulder took in her peaceful smile, then moved aside as she exited the elevator.

"Scully? You're soaked, come inside and I'll get you something dr-"

He was interrupted as her mouth suddenly pressed against his in a passionate continuation of their earlier kiss. The world faded around them as they stood, pressed against each other in the hallway. Mulder lifted his arms and placed them around her, pulling her as close to his body as the baby between them would allow. 

For that brief moment, locked in that eternal kiss, Mulder found his freedom. The memories had released him from his bondage and let him slip from their grasp, become lost in the tide of emotions that carried his soul away. He felt no fear, no pain resurfacing now. He was finally free, and he was no longer alone.


End file.
